disney, movie, scene list, truby

Writing Challenge – Entry #22 – Frozen (scene list)

First and foremost, let’s acknowledge the origin of this story. It comes from Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Snow Queen”.

Here’s my attempt at creating a scene list for the movie. I will work with the scene list in future entries to understand the growth from scene list to finished work.

Kristoff and Sven are young and learning trade from the ice men
Young Anna and Elsa play, but Elsa accidentally strikes Anna’s head with her magic; Anna falls to the ground, cold and unconscious; a strand of hair turns white ghost
The parents carry Anna and Elsa through the forest and create a trail of ice; Kristoff and Sven follow Anna’s magical field of ice to a field, where they’re adopted by rock-trolls story world
The parents ask Grandpapi troll for help; he cures Anna and removes all memory of magic from her
Grandpapi says the head is easy to cure and that Elsa should control her powers and not fear them weakness/need
The father and mother decide to protect Elsa so she can control her powers and until then they will lock the gates plan
Elsa effectively removes herself from Anna’s life, so she won’t hurt her anymore, but has trouble controlling her powers so her parents teach her to repress her magic plan
The girls go through adolescence and adulthood isolated from each other
The parents go on a 2 week voyage, then die at sea story world
The town is abuzz for Elsa’s Coronation Day story world
Trading partners from Weaselton show up and plan to exploit Arendale’s riches opponent
Anna and Elsa are both getting ready for Coronation Day; Elsa is terrified, while Anna is overeager
Anna is smitten to meet Prince Hans of the Southern Isles
weakness/need & fake ally
Elsa receives the crown story world
At the ball, Queen Elsa and Princess Anna are announced; Anna is amazed her sister talks to her
Duke of Weaselton meets Elsa and dances with Anna, while trying to find out why the gates have been closed all these years opponent
Anna tells Elsa she wishes it could be like this all the time; Elsa says ‘it can’t’
Anna runs into Hans again; they decide they’re in love and are getting married CP
Anna and Hans ask for Elsa’s blessing of their marriage; Elsa tells her she can’t marry a man she just met CP; P
Elsa announces the party over and declares the gates closed P
Anna grabs Elsa’s glove and begs her to stay; they argue
Elsa blasts ice at the party and everyone sees inciting incident
Duke of Weaselton calls Elsa a “monster” in front of her and all her subjects; Elsa runs away CP
As Anna and Hans near, Elsa runs across the ice-covered fjord and Anna cannot follow; it starts to snow problem
Anna decides to find Elsa and leaves Prince Hans in charge drive
Elsa roams around snow covered mountains and starts to play with her magic and embrace it story world
Elsa builds an ice palace and wears a new gown story world
Snow falls on Anna’s horse; the horse flings her off and runs away
Anna walks into a trading post and meets a man named Kristoff who says the snow is coming from the north mountain and it seems magical ally
Kristoff says the snow is coming from the north mountain and it seems magical revelation
Kristoff tries to buy carrots, rope, and a pickaxe for $10 instead of $40 and is thrown out for calling the owner a crook
Kristoff and Sven sleep in the barn for free; Anna shows up and tells her to take her up the north mountain in exchange for the things he wanted to buy drive
Anna and Kristoff sled through the snow with Sven; they are attacked by wolves CP
They have to jump over a cliff to avoid being eaten by wolves; Kristoff’s sled is destroyed and Anna saves Kristoff from falling
Anna says she’ll replace the sled and everything in it and she understands if Kristoff doesn’t want to help her anymore; Kristoff decides to help CP; P
They see Arendale from above and realize that it’s completely frozen drive
They walk through beautiful ice creations and meet Olaf, who is obsessed with summer; Anna remembers him from their childhood
Citizen of Arendale try to survive the winter; Prince Hans does his best, while the Duke complains and conspires against Elsa CP
Anna’s horse returns without her; Prince Hans, a few volunteers and 2 of the Duke’s men go to find Anna, but the Duke tells his men to kill Elsa if they find her CP
Kristoff asks Anna what her plan is to get summer back; Anna says she’s going to talk to Elsa plan
The four of them get to a mountain; Olaf finds a beautiful ice staircase that takes them to the ice castle, but Sven can’t go across revelation
Anna hesitates but knocks; the door finally opens and she tells Olaf and Kristoff to wait outside a minute ghost
Elsa meets Olaf for the first time, has a FB, and tells Anna to go back home because she’s not safe around Elsa ghost
Anna tells Elsa that she set off an eternal winter and needs to fix it; Elsa says she doesn’t know how revelation and decision
Anna says they’ll figure it out together; Elsa panics as ice magic fills the room and strikes Anna weakness/need
Elsa meets Kristoff for the first time; Kristoff helps Anna up, notices the castle change, and insists they leave revelation and decision
Elsa tells them to leave; Anna refuses, so Elsa creates a snow monster who throws all 3 of them out weakness/need
Anna throws a snowball at the snow monster; the snow monster chases them to a 200′ drop and Anna saves them by dropping them onto the snow CP; P
still worried about Arendale, Anna’s hair turns white and Kristoff takes Anna to see his troll friends because they’ve done this kind of thing before revelation and decision
Elsa’s emotions get the better of her and her ice castle has changed shape audience revelation
Kristoff and Anna develop feelings for one another
Kristoff introduces Anna and Olaf to his troll family who try to marry them to each other ally
Grandpapi rolls up and tells Anna that she will freeze forever and only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart; one troll recommends a true love’s kiss, so they leave to kiss Prince Hans revelation and decision
Hans and the volunteers battle Elsa and the snow monster; though the Duke’s men attack Elsa, Prince Hans kills the snow monster and saves Elsa’s life CP
Elsa wakes up in shackles in the castle dungeon; Hans tells her that Anna has not returned revelation
Hans asks her to bring back summer; she says she can’t revelation
Sven is carrying Kristoff and Anna to the castle; Olaf gets separated and decides to meet them at the castle drive
Kristoff hands Anna to the staff and tells them to find Hans immediately, then leaves; Anna insists Hans kiss her because she needs an act of true love to kiss her drive
Hans confesses that he wanted to marry Anna and then kill her; he says he will kill Elsa and bring summer back and become king, then he puts out all the candles and fires in the room and leaves and locks the door. revelation
Hans tells the Duke and the others that Anna was struck by Elsa and died just after they said their marriage vows; Hans charges Elsa with treason and sentences her to death CP
Elsa’s dungeon freezes; the guards manage to enter but she’s already escaped CP; P
Kristoff wants to fight for Anna but says she’s with her true love; he feels a wind and sees a storm brewing above the castle, then rides to save Anna moral decision
Olaf picks the lock with his carrot nose, starts a fire for Anna, and explains to her that love is putting someone else’s needs before your own P
Anna realizes Kristoff loves her; Olaf starts to melt revelation and decision
Wind blows the window open; Olaf goes to close it and sees Kristoff revelation
Olaf tries to get Anna to Kristoff for her act of true love drive
Elsa stands in the middle of the storm; Anna, who’s escaped from the castle, and Kristoff hurry to meet each other over the cracking fjord as Anna starts turning to ice and Kristoff loses Sven battle
Anna and Kristoff hurry to meet each other over the cracking fjord as Anna starts turning to ice and Kristoff loses Sven
Hans finds Elsa and tells her that Anna died because of her; Elsa breaks down and the snow storm stops apparent defeat
An almost completely frozen Anna and Kristoff see each other and move toward each other
Anna hears Hans draw his sword and sees him about to attack Elsa; she has to choose between saving herself and saving Elsa moral decision
Anna choses to save Elsa; she shatters Hans’s sword just before she turns to solid ice visit to death
Hans falls from the magical power of it; Elsa, Sve, Olaf, and Kristoff are sad at Anna’s death
Anna lets out her final breath, then her heart starts to thaw; she comes completely back to life
Elsa says, “You sacrificed yourself for me?”; Anna says, “I love you”; Olaf says, “An act of true love” revelation
Elsa realizes that love can thaw; Elsa uses her power from a place of love and thaws Arendale self-revelation
A new equilibrium is reached as Anna and Kristoff kiss, Olaf smells flowers, Hans and the Duke are removed from the land, the gates stay open, and Anna and Elsa skate along a new ice rink new equilibrium
7 step breakdown, detective, movie, science fiction, truby

Writing Challenge – Story #21 – Blade Runner

Based on the novel, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, by Philip K. Dick.

Blade Runner (a.k.a. Deckart)
1. weakness/need – he draws a line between humans and replicants
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to kill the replicants
3. opponent – Roy and all the other replicants
4. plan – to research, find, and kill the replicants one-by-one
5. battle – battles Roy, who saves his life
6. self-revelation – he loves Rachel, a replicant
7. new equilibrium – kills all the replicants and runs away with Rachel

Roy (main opponent)
1. weakness/need – needs to accept that he cannot live longer than just 4 years
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants longer life
3. opponent – Blade Runner
4. plan – to convince his maker, Tyrell, to give him longer life
5. battle – battles Blade Runner
6. self-revelation – accepts that there is a time to die
7. new equilibrium – saves Blade Runner, but kills himself

Police Captain Bryant
1. weakness/need – racist
1A. problem – 6 replicants killed a crew of 23 people, took their shuttle, and have landed on Earth
2. desire – to get a Blade Runner to kill the crew of 5 replicants without humans finding out and the police being embarrassed
3. opponent – Roy
4. plan – to work with Blade Runner
5. battle – none
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – none

Zhora (nude performer with fake snake)
1. weakness/need – needs to realize that she cannot live among humans
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to live on Earth
3. opponent – Blade Runner
4. plan – to live as a performer on Earth, passing herself off as a human
5. battle – tries to kill Deckart but fails
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – death

1. weakness/need – needs to understand that she cannot live among humans
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to live longer than 4 years
3. opponent – Blade Runner
4. plan – to seduce J.F. Sebastian and help Roy get to Tyrell
5. battle – fights Blade Runner for her life
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – death

1. weakness/need – needs to realize and accept that she’s a replicant
1A. problem – it’s Deckart’s job to kill her
2. desire – wants a relationship with Deckart
3. opponent – Deckart/Blade Runner
4. plan – to run away so that no one will kill her
5. battle – to trust Blade Runner
6. self-revelation – accepts that she’s a replicant
7. new equilibrium – starts a life with Deckart

1. weakness/need – needs to realize that he cannot live among humans
1A. problem –
2. desire – to live among the humans
3. opponent – Blade Runner
4. plan – to kill everyone who comes after him
5. battle – almost kills Deckart with his bare hands
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – death (killed by Rachel with Deckart’s firearm)

J.F. Sebastian
1. weakness/need – needs to realize that replicants are evil and dangerous
1A. problem – suffers from premature aging, so he did not pass the physical to leave Earth
2. desire – to help his new friends, Pris and Roy
3. opponent – Roy (fake ally)
4. plan – to let Roy in to see Tyrell, so they can remedy their 4 year lifespan
5. battle – Roy tries to kill him
6. self-revelation – he should not have trusted the replicants
7. new equilibrium – death

1. weakness/need – unclear
1A. problem –
2. desire – to brown nose enough to get a promotion
3. opponent –
4. plan – to kill Rachel
5. battle – decides not to kill Rachel
6. self-revelation – unclear
7. new equilibrium –

1. weakness/need – unclear?
1A. problem –
2. desire – to create more human replicants
3. opponent – replicants
4. plan – to create new generations of replicants, each more human than the last
5. battle – killed by Roy
6. self-revelation – none (but there is a poignant moment when he meets Roy, his creation)
7. new equilibrium – death

Roy’s monologue before death:
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Time to die.

Roy’s character has, at times, been compared to the Greek hero Achilles.

7 step breakdown, movie, thriller, truby

Writing Challenge – Story #20 – Michael Clayton

1. weakness/need – needs to not stoop to murder to get rid of her legal problems
1A. problem – inherited a law suit for a product that is killing people
2. desire – wants to prevent the uNorth law suit from going through
3. opponent – Michael
4. plan – plans to kill Michael, similar to the way she killed Arthur
5. battle – Michael shows up alive at her office and demands $10m
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – she’s arrested

1. weakness/need – needs to stop being the law firm’s janitor
1A. problem – to raise $75K to save the failed restaurant venture he had with his brother
2. desire – to determine the truth about what happened to Arthur, while coming under attack
3. opponent – Karen
4. plan – to confront Karen while wearing a wire tap, then getting his police officer brother to arrest Karen
5. battle – confronts Karen while wearing a wire tap
6. self-revelation – it was wrong of him to accept $80K from his boss in exchange for compromising his morals (in that moment, he theoretically dies and is re-born)
7. new equilibrium – he’s no longer the law firm’s janitor

1. weakness/need – needs to stop defending cases where he knows his clients are causing people’s deaths
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to expose uNorth and their pesticide, even though he’s been defending their case for 6 years
3. opponent – Karen
4. plan – to distribute memo#229 which Don Jeffries, former attorney for uNorth signed, acknowledging he knew their weedkiller was causing human tissue damage
5. battle – to take down uNorth and prove that the company has been knowingly killing people with its weedkiller
6. self-revelation – he’s going to go ahead in his case against uNorth
7. new equilibrium – killed by Karen’s goons (and it’s made to look like it was a suicide)

1. weakness/need -needs to stop defending cases where he knows his clients are causing people’s deaths
1A. problem –
2. desire – to defend uNorth in their weedkiller case
3. opponent – Arthur
4. plan – to defend uNorth and prevent Arthur from going forward with his case against uNorth
5. battle – doesn’t battle Arthur (b/c of apparent suicide) or Michael
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – loses the uNorth case because of memo#229

7 step breakdown, action, movie, science fiction, truby

Writing Challenge – Story #19 – Star Trek Into Darkness

1. weakness/need – needs some form of humanity
1A. problem –
2. desire – he wants his crew of 72 people, cryogenically frozen in torpedoes
3. opponent – Admiral Marcus, Kirk, and Spock
4. plan – help Kirk get onto Marcus’s ship, kill Marcus, kill Kirk, target the Enterprises’s life support (killing the crew), then recover his crew
5. battle – is physically beaten by Uhura and Spock
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – cryogenically frozen, along with his crew

Admiral Marcus
1. weakness/need – needs to stop trying to manipulate others to start a war
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to start a war
3. opponent – Khan & Kirk
4. plan – to send the Enterprise into Klingon territory, kill Khan with his own torpedoes (which contain his cryogenically frozen crew), then have the Enterprise’s engine fail, leaving the Klingons to discover the Enterprise and start a war with Starfleet
5. battle – tries to destroy the Enterprise with Khan onboard, but fails when Scottie sabotages his ship, and Kirk and Khan come onboard
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – his skull is crushed by Khan

1. weakness/need –
1A. problem –
2. desire – to keep his ship and crew safe
3. opponent – Admiral Marcus
4. plan – to use Khan and travel through space to take Admiral Marcus’s ship from the inside, thus ensuring the safety of everyone onboard the Enterprise
5. battle – after Khan has attacked the Enterprise, Kirk sacrifices himself to save the ship’s core
6. self-revelation –
7. new equilibrium – death, then resurrection

1. weakness/need – needs to trust the captain’s judgement
1A. problem –
2. desire – to discern whether or not to trust Khan and act accordingly
3. opponent – Khan
4. plan – talk to Future Spock and ask him about Khan, remove the 72 bodies from the torpedoes, then send the torpedoes back to Khan and detonate them
5. battle – beats Khan after his attack on Starfleet, but is stopped because Khan is the only chance to bring Kirk back from the dead
6. self-revelation – allows himself to feel emotion and understand that sometimes it is acceptable to act outside of logic
7. new equilibrium – defers to the captain’s judgement, instead of using the logical path

dad who carried out the attack on Kelvin Memorial Data Archive
1. weakness/need – needs to not act out of desperation
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants his daughter to live
3. opponent – Khan
4. plan – to trust the doctors to do their best
5. battle – offered by Khan to kill himself and destroy the Kelvin Memorial Data Archive in exchange for his daughter’s life
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – bows to Khan’s demands

7 step breakdown, action, movie, science fiction, truby

Writing Challenge – Story #18 – Star Trek

1. weakness/need – needs to realize he has no one to blame for his wife’s death
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to make Spock suffer
3. opponent – Spock
4. plan – wait for Spock’s ship to come through, then spare his life only to have him watch the destruction of Vulcan and then that of Earth and the remainder of all the Federation planets
5. battle – battle to destroy Earth
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – death

Capt. James T. Kirk
1. weakness/need – needs to heal from his father’s untimely death and find his place in the world
1A. problem –
2. desire – to save Earth from destruction
3. opponent – Nero
4. plan – get onto Nero’s ship, disable it, and take back Capt. Pike
5. battle – helps Spock disable the drill and crash the red matter into Nero’s ship, saves Capt. Pike
6. self-revelation – he must captain the U.S.S. Enterprise and work with Spock to reach victory
7. new equilibrium – he relieves Capt. Pike as captain of the Enterprise

Future Spock
1. weakness/need – needs to understand that billions of lives have not been lost all because he failed
1A. problem –
2. desire – to unite Spock and Kirk and to get Kirk to captain the Enterprise
3. opponent – Spock
4. plan – to get Kirk to show that Spock has been emotionally comprised, so that he has to step down
5. battle – implies cataclysmic consequences if Kirk tells Spock that Future Spock now lives in the present
6. self-revelation – he was helpless to save his home planet, but he can help restore the race
7. new equilibrium – he helps restore the race while Spock serves with Starfleet

1. weakness/need – needs to
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to save Earth
3. opponent – Cadet Kirk
4. plan – to throw out Kirk for mutiny and send the U.S.S. Enterprise back to the rest of the fleet for a conference on what to do next
5. battle – Kirk insults Spock’s feelings for his mother and gets him to realize how emotionally compromised he is
6. self-revelation – too emotionally compromised to captain a ship
7. new equilibrium – he becomes first officer and Kirk becomes captain

7 step breakdown, comedy, movie, truby

Writing Challenge – Story #17 – Mean Girls

Cady Heron
1. weakness/need – needs to learn to be herself to make friends
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to date Aaron
3. opponent – Regina
4. plan – pretend she’s stupid and get lower grades so she can spend time with Aaron
5. battle – she sacrifices Aaron’s affection for her by confessing that she wrote the lies about Ms. Norbury being a drug pusher in the ‘burn book’
6. self-revelation – needs people to like her for herself
7. new equilibrium – she is respected by Ms. Norbury and Aaron and wins the Mathletes bonus round

Regina George (opponent)
1. weakness/need – needs to stop being a narcissist
1A. problem –
2. desire – to have revenge on Cady for pretending to be her friend but dismantling her life
3. opponent – Cady
4. plan – to ruin the lives of everyone she can’t control
5. battle – turn in the “burn book” to the school principal and make it look like it belongs to Cady, Karen, and Gretchen
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – hit by a bus and injured her spine

Janis (slightly ostracized)
ghost – when she was 13, Regina made everyone sign a petition saying Janis was a dyke
1. weakness/need – needs to heal from her childhood trauma with Regina
1A. problem –
2. desire – to have revenge on Regina
3. opponent – Regina
4. plan – to dismantle Regina by taking separating her from her on-again off-again boyfriend, Aaron, ruining her physique, and taking away her “friends”
5. battle – she tells everyone what she did to Regina
6. self-revelation – none
7. new equilibrium – the other girls cheer her name

Aaron Samuels – Cady’s crush and Regina’s ex-boyfriend
Ms. Norbury – mentor math teacher and female role model
Damian – Janis’s gay best friend (slightly ostracized)
Gretchen Wieners – needs to leave Regina, because she really doesn’t like her
Karen Smith – stupid friend
Regina’s mom – needs to act her own age

7 step breakdown, comedy, romance, shakespeare, truby

Writing Challenge – Story #16 – The Taming of the Shrew (play)

This is a comparison with the movie “Ten Things I Hate About You”, which I analyzed earlier. I’m still unsure as to why Katherine agrees to marry Petruchio. I can only assume that Shakespeare did not write women well, as is evident by the ending of the play.

Here is a quick rundown of the characters:

Rule: younger daughter cannot marry before older daughter

Lucentio/Cambio (Cameron) – will tutor Bianca, while pretending to be Cambio, who is visiting from a distant city

Tranio/Lucentio (Michael) –
– will switch places with Lucentio, while he pursues Bianca.
– he’s told to pretend to woo Bianca like the other suitors. and wins because he has more money.


Katherine – unbearable person and jealous of the affection Bianca gets from their father

Baptista (dad) – wants a tutor for Bianca and a suitor for Katherine

Gremio (Bianca’s older suitor) –
– wants to find a suitor for Katherine and a tutor for Bianca
– finds Cambio, who is well versed in books to tutor Bianca (and pays him extra to only read her books on love and tell of Gremio’s love for her)

Hortensio/Litio (Bianca’s younger suitor) –
– wants to find a suitor for Katherine and a tutor for Bianca
– disguises himself as Litio, a music/mathematics tutor for Bianca
– when he sees Bianca in love with Cambio (who is lower class), he decides that he values inner beauty more than physical beauty.
– he decides to marry a widow, but first takes shrew-taming lessons from Petruchio.

Vincentio (Lucentio’s dad) – meets Petruchio and Katherine for the first time while they’re on their way to Baptista’s house

Biondello –
– Lucentio’s servant who pretends to be Tranio’s servant when Tranio pretends to be Lucentio
– is told that Lucentio got into a fight and killed a man when he came on shore and Tranio has agreed to trade places with him
– tells Lucentio/Cambio that there’s a priest waiting for him at a church, if he wants to marry Bianca before Tranio/Lucentio draws up fake papers

Petruchio –
– comes from Verona to visit Hortensio
– his father, Antonio, has died and he wants to marry rich before he runs out of money.
– loud, obnoxious, rude, and a thrill seeker.

Grumio – Petruchio’s servant

Merchant from Mantua – Tranio convinces him that people from Mantua will be killed and that the merchant can pretend to be Lucentio’s father, Vincentio. But if he’s going to pretend to be Vincentio, he should also do a favor for him.


Oddly, there seem to be only two characters with any arc in this story.

1. weakness/need – needs to value inner beauty instead of outer beauty
1A. problem –
2. desire – wants to marry Bianca
3. opponent – Lucentio
4. plan – to dress up as the tutor, Litio, and convince Bianca to marry Hortensio
5. battle – Lucentio and Hortensio have both dressed up as tutors and are both wooing Bianca, but Bianca responds to Lucentio’s affections
6. self-revelation – he needs to value inner beauty over outer beauty
7. new equilibrium – he decides to marry a widow but decides to learn how to tame her first

1. weakness/need – needs to not be a shrew
1A. problem –
2. desire – to do as her father decrees and marry Petruchio
3. opponent – Petruchio
4. plan – [unknown]
5. battle – she tries to talk common sense to Petruchio, but he treats her as she would have treated him
6. self-revelation – she must do as her husband commands
7. new equilibrium – she is now a doormat